51 Funny Quotes and Sayings about Women

Women are often targeted for jokes and funny quotes. Though Women are not funny, however, this gender's personality and temperament have been the source of massive humor for the opposite sex and for the women too. Here is the list of funny quotes about women, which make you laugh as you read them. Men have argued from millions of years that women have no sense of humor and many times considered them funnier because of this trait.

What may be your gender; you will definitely enjoy reading these funny quotes about women.

1.     Most women are not as young as they are painted.

2.     What a strange thing man is; and what a stranger thing woman.

3.     No man knows more about women than I do, and I know nothing.

4.     Women should have labels on their foreheads saying, ‘Government Health Warning: women can seriously damage your brains, current account, confidence, and good standing among your friends’

5.     From 40 feet away she looked like a lot of class. From 15 feet away she looked like something made up to be seen from 40 feet away.

6.     A cosmetic is a boon to every woman, but a girl's best friend is still a near sighted man.

7.     If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

8.     Women are like elephants. Everyone likes to look at them but no-one likes to have to keep one.

9.     How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.

10.   I like my whisky old and my women young.

11.   Women are like an email in your inbox, you cannot wait to open it, and when you open it, then you realize its a virus.

12.      A foolish man tells a woman to stop talking, but a wise man tells her that her mouth is extremely beautiful when her lips are closed.

13. God made women beautiful and foolish,....beautiful that man might love her; and foolish, that she might love him.

14.     To generalize on women is dangerous. To specialize on them is infinitely worse.

15.   Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.

16.    A woman’s mind is cleaner than a man’s – That’s because she changes it more often.

17.      Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: ‘This looks much better on.’ On what? On fire?

18.      The man’s desire is for the woman; but the woman’s desire is rarely other than for the desire of the man

19.     A woman knows how to keep quiet when she is in the right, whereas a man, when he is in the right, will keep on talking.

Funny Woman Sayings!          

20. .       Woman is a miracle of divine contradictions.
      
    
    
    These funny quotes about women have been written by well known authors and by some man who love to satire on women.
    
    
    21. Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.
    
    
    22. Women… can’t live with them… can’t shoot them.
    
    
    23. A woman is like a tea bag. She only knows her strength when put in hot water
    
    
    24. Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.
    
    
    25. Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good? Luckily, this is not difficult.
    
    
    26. When women go wrong, men go right after them.
    
    
    27. If a woman insists on being called Ms, ask her if it stands for miserable.
    
    
    28. A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
    
    
    29. There’s two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither one works.
    
    
    30. Don't give a woman advice; one should never give a woman anything she can't wear in the evening.
    
    
    31. When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
    
    
    32. The great and almost only comfort about being a woman is that one can always pretend to be more stupid than one is and no one is surprised.
    
    
    33. Every time a woman leaves off something she looks better, but every time a man leaves off something he looks worse.
    
    
    34. As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied.
    
    
    35. The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain.
    
    
    36. Behind every successful man there is a surprised woman.
    
    
    37. Man has will, but woman has her way.
    
    
    38. The female sex has no greater fan than I, and I have the bills to prove it.
    
    
    39. Show me a woman who doesn’t feel guilt and I’ll show you a man.
    
    
    40. I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.
    
    
    41. When women kiss it always reminds me of prize fighter shaking hands.
    
    
    42. One should never trust a woman who tells her real age. If she tells that, she’ll tell anything.
    
    
    43. There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling, and technicians. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with technicians.
    
    
    44. Whats the difference between a battery and a woman?
    Batteries have a positive side.
    
    
    45. If a woman tells you that she is single by choice, its probably because no one has    chosen her.
    
    
    46. It doesn’t matter how attractive someone is when you marry, even a white cat is black in the dark.
    
    
    47. Why is it men are permitted to be obsessed about their work, but women are only permitted to be obsessed about men?
    
    
    48. A beauty is a woman you notice; a charmer is one who notices you.
    
    
    49. Any woman can fool a man if she wants to and if he's in love with her.
    
    
    50. To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
    
    
    51. Three things have been difficult to tame: the oceans, fools and women. We may soon be able to tame the oceans; fools and women will take a little longer.
    
    
     Hope you enjoyed well the collection of 51 funny and cute quotes and sayings about women. Certainly they give you some good laughs. Do share if you also have something funny like this. Humor is an infectious disease; I would love to have this infection.